21
1 Aug.
91
Bob
and I have been together for a year, and it is going well. He made a little
dinner party to celebrate our anniversary. He is a fabulous cook (which I
definitely am not Daniel is, or rather was, the cook in our little family).
He makes mouthwatering North African specialties like tagine, but also great
French and Italian dishes. A few of his friends were there. For my part I
invited only Tina, and she came alone. Since it ended with Michel she has been
seeing a man who doesnt speak French and she thought it would be awkward to
bring him to a francophone party.
Yes, my
journal, I love Bobs cooking. I also love his sense of humour. It is very
French, not just French Canadian but French French, franco-français. He also
makes lots of puns, even bilingual ones. Example: he orders an egg for lunch in
a café, the waitress asks how he wants his eggs. Bob: Not eggs, an egg. One
egg is un œuf (enough).
He is also
very considerate and flexible about our dates, never demanding, never
complaining if I have to change or cancel. Now that Daniel is here, just back
from Mexico, he understands that I want to spend time with him. I cancelled our
date for tomorrow, and he was very understanding
Last month,
right after my birthday, while Betty went to Ontario with Paul (he has family
in Toronto on Marcias side), Bob and I took a 10-day vacation in Gaspésie. We
drove through Rimouski, where I showed him my family house and my schools, but
without stopping. We had a wonderful time together.
So, my
journal, I love Bobs qualities. Do I love him? Sometimes I tell myself that I
do, and then an image of Miki pops into my head. What does it tell me? Not
necessarily that I dont love Bob but, while Betty knows about him and Daniel
probably does too by now (at least since their time together in Toronto), it is
too soon to introduce him to them as my lover, and that means also to
those of my friends who know B & D, like Greg & Marcia, Mark &
Julie, Jodi etc.
Which pretty
much leaves Tina. Tina approves of Bob. But then she also approved of Jean-Marc
and was suspicious about Miki. Should I worry, then?
And why do I
feel that its too soon? A year! A fucking year! (Literally.)
Perhaps
because I dont expect it to last, and I dont want the embarrassment of an
introduction followed shortly by a breakup.
That was not a
problem with George. It lasted for 3 years after I introduced him to them in
the islands, and it could have lasted longer if I had wanted it. But Bob
Frankly, my journal, I expect him to meet someone younger that he can think of
starting a family with. He is now around the age of Miki when I met him, and it
would be quite appropriate if Bob were to meet a girl of 21. I would be happy
for him, I think.
Or would I
really? Would I be like Kiri te Kanawa I mean the character that she sang, I
think her name was Marie-Thérèse in Der Rosenkavalier, nobly giving up her
young lover for a younger girl? Saying that she even loved his love for
another? It doesnt sound like Mireille Bouchard, does it, my journal?
Let me sleep
on that. Good night, my journal.
August
in Montreal
Daniel had just gotten out of bed when he saw his mother
ready to go to her clinic, looking lovely in her pink summer dress. She gave
him a quick good-bye kiss and told him that she had canceled her evening plans
and would be home for dinner.
Betty was already dressed, but had not had
breakfast yet. Mireille had prepared breakfast for the three of them, and
brother and sister ate together.
Just
in case youre interested, Betty said as they sat down, Amy Kenner is out of
town. Shes in the islands with her dad, who, by the way, is divorced.
What
makes you think I might be interested?
Come
on. I saw you with her at the party. You were, like, all over her!
I
was? I thought I was just being friendly!
Yeah,
sure. Betty laughed. I mean, like, Im sure she liked it, not being all that
pretty. I mean getting all this attention from a cute guy like you.
I
think shes quite attractive, Daniel said, feeling defensive while spreading
blueberry jam on his toast.
Good
for you! She laughed again. And, like, good for her. Too bad she isnt here.
He
felt embarrassed, and wanted to retaliate.
Hows
it going with Paul? The ruse worked: Betty blushed through her suntan, and
covered most of her face with the coffee mug.
Okay.
Are
you in love with him?
She
put down her mug and lowered her eyes, as if to reflect. Yes, she answered
slowly as she raised her gaze to meet his, and Daniel thought that, in the
course of that one syllable, her tone changed from one of hesitation to one of
conviction, which he also saw radiating from her lovely face, its frame of
still unkempt auburn hair lit sideways by the morning sun. He felt a twinge of
envy gnawing at his gut.
Do
you want to tell me about it?
No.
There seemed to be a tacit you wouldnt understand that Daniel accepted
as justified. He really didnt know yet what being in love meant.
Or
was that true? Was he really not in love with Cici? He had always taken her
word for it that they werent in love with each other, because she was the more
experienced of the two. But at that very moment he found himself missing her as
he had never missed another being before. Was this simply a case of absence
making the heart grow fonder? Perhaps. Or perhaps not.
Okay,
he said, taking a bite out the hard-boiled egg that he had just peeled.
How
about your girlfriend in New York? Betty asked, as if guessing his thoughts.
Cecilia, or whatever her name is
Its
Cynthia, or Cici. What do you want to know? He had already told her, on the
train ride to Toronto, that she was beautiful and smart and funny and sexy, so
evidently it was his feelings that Betty was after. Perhaps he would set an
example of frankness.
Nothing
in particular, just whatever you want to tell me. So she was being diplomatic!
Well,
what we have is that we are boyfriend-girlfriend when were together in New
York, but otherwise were not supposed to think about each other. And when she
graduates, which will be next May, itll be over.
Is
that how she wants it?
Yes.
So
youre not in love?
I
guess not.
Weird.
Unless youre the kind of person thats missing the love gene.
The
what?
I
heard about it on a TV program. Falling in love is supposed to be due to some
chemical thats released in the brain, but some people dont have the gene for
producing it.
Thats
ridiculous. Besides, you and I have the same genes. He knew that what he was
saying wasnt strictly true they shared only half of their genetic material
but he couldnt think of anything else to say.
Maybe
youre a mutant. Pt êt tes un mutant, she said laughing, probably
because mutant sounded funnier in Quebec French than in English. Mon
frère le mutant, she added, laughing some more.
When he got out of the shower, Betty told him that Harvey
Berman had called and left a message to call him back at his fathers office,
where Harvey was working that summer so as to as he had told Daniel get a
taste of legal work in order to see if the paternal calling was something he
might want to pursue.
Leslie
and I were just talking about you yesterday when boom! Paul told me that
youre in town, Harvey said. It just happens that were having a little party
Sunday evening, mainly with old friends from North Am, and your presence
wouldve been missed. I hope you can make it.
Sure.
Where will it be?
Oh,
I guess you didnt know. Leslie and I are living together. He gave Daniel an
address in the Plateau. How long are you in town for?
I
dont know yet. A week, maybe two.
Good.
Then we can get together, just you and me. And also, last but not least, my dad
wants to see you. Ill let you talk to his secretary so you can make an
appointment. Anyway, à demain soir!
Yeah,
and give my love to Leslie.
There
was a click, and Gregs bilingual secretary, Francine, came on the line.
Hello, Daniel, when can we have the pleasure of seeing you?
An
appointment was made for the following Monday morning. When Daniel got dressed
he saw that Betty was about to leave. Of course: she, too, was working that summer,
a part-time clerical job for a small English-language theater company where
Bettys bilingualism was an asset in dealing with provincial and municipal
authorities.
He
next called Fela.
Daniel!
So wonderful to hear your voice! And thank you for those beautiful postcards
from Mexico! Isnt it beautiful? Leon and I went there thirty years ago! Thirty
years! Fela sighed audibly. We had such a wonderful time! Wonderful! Never
mind, an old woman getting nostalgic. She laughed. Anyway, can you come over
tomorrow afternoon?
Yes,
gladly.
Good.
At three oclock?
Yes.
Good.
I will have your favorite Jewish cookies.
The
the mandelbrot?
Yes,
mandelbroyt, Fela said, laughing again.
If
youre going to have some friends over, Id like to try speaking Yiddish with
them.
Yiddish!
Well, Henry Brenner may come. Mr. Brenner was a man in his eighties, from
Romania, an old friend of Leons who, like Leon, was a Francophile and insisted
on speaking Yiddish or French rather than English.
Mr. Brenner was in fact there, in the middle of a group of
middle-aged and older men discussing the current state of Soviet Union in a
mixture of Yiddish, English and French. Gorbachev doesnt seem to be worried,
Mr. Kaminsky was saying, hes going on vacation tomorrow.
Des
vacances? Mr. Brenner exclaimed. Dos darf er nisht.
Daniel
heard it as the equivalent of the German Das darf er nicht, he mustnt
do it, but Mr. Kaminsky rejoined with Darfn? and added, in English,
Maybe he doesnt need it, but he wants to make the point that he has the
situation under control. Daniel realized at that moment that the Yiddish darfn
means need while the German dürfen means may, and that he needed
to take a class in Yiddish if he wanted to delve into his fathers
life. He had already thought about it, and now decided that he would take one
in the coming semester.
Unter
kontrol? Mr. Brenner laughed. He then noticed Daniel standing by,
listening to the discussion, and asked him, Du farshteyst?
A
bissel, Daniel said. Ich versteh Deutsch.
Siz
nisht dos zelbe, Mr. Rotenberg said.
Of
course it was not the same. Ich weiss, Daniel said.
Some
time later Mr. Kaminsky approached Daniel and said, So I hear youre going to
Columbia. Have you taken any classes from Edward Sed? It took a few seconds
before Daniel caught the reference to Edward Said.
No,
Daniel said, but I went to a lecture he gave last spring.
And
what did he have to say about Israel? Mr. Kaminsky asked with a smirk. That
its a European colonial power?
No,
he said nothing about Israel. It was about Mozarts operas. This year, he
added when Mr. Kaminsky did not respond, is the bicentennial of Mozarts
death.
You
mean there was no politics?
I
suppose there was some. He said that Mozart, being a freemason, had a benign
view of the Oriental world, unlike most other Europeans.
Aha!
Oriental shmoriental! Give me Barbra Streisands Yentl any time! Have
you seen it?
Yes,
Mister Kaminsky.
Good.
Its been nice talking to you, young man.
Likewise,
Mister Kaminsky.
That evening Mireille, Betty and Daniel went out for
dinner and then to the world premiere of a new French film at the Montreal Film
Festival.
At
dinner the conversation was in French, and Daniel felt that he was holding his
own. At one point Mireille asked him if he still regarded himself as a French
Canadian. The question took him aback.
Mais
bien sûr, maman, he said.
The
film was called Nord, and was written and directed by a young Frenchman
who was also the lead actor. Betty had recently developed an interest in
grownup films not of the kind known commercially as adult films and are
really adolescent pornography, but films dealing with adult themes and she
found this one fascinating. Xavier Beauvois, she thought, was gorgeous. It
surprised Daniel that when she later discussed the film and her impressions of
it, it was in English. She would quote a line of dialogue in French, and switch
languages.
He slept late again on Sunday. His mother and sister went
off to see friends, and did not get back until dinnertime. After dinner he went
to the party.
When
he arrived at Harvey and Leslies place, Daniel found to his surprise that
Megan Kenner was there. She was not in Harvey and Leslies crowd; she had gone
to a different CEGEP from them and would be going to Concordia, not McGill, in
order to study accounting. But apparently she had been invited for Daniels
sake. She came alone, dressed in a short skirt and a tight top that emphasized
her newly curvaceous figure (including palpably larger breasts), strangely out
of keeping with her placid, still almost childish face; it was as though a
little girls face had been superimposed on a womans body. She lost no time in
coming on to him, as in the old days. They made a date for the next afternoon,
when she would have her parents place to herself. He would go there directly
from his meeting with Greg Berman. If it isnt one Kenner girl its another,
Daniel said to himself on his way back to Saint-Laurent. He had meant to ask
Megan about her summer job, but somehow didnt get around to it.
So, Greg Berman began, are you enjoying another August
in Montreal?
Yes,
sure, Daniel answered, not quite sure of himself.
And
how does it feel to be a rich young man in Manhattan?
I
wouldnt know. I dont feel like a rich young man, except for the fact that I,
as a co-op member, now own my very small apartment.
That,
Greg said with a laugh, was a very wise investment. You paid a good price for
what you got.
I
didnt think of it as an investment, but thanks for the compliment.
Greg
laughed again. You have an income thats into six figures, you know.
I
know. In the very low six figures, US.
How
much is your tuition?
About
fifteen grand.
So
you have a lot of money to spend, and I think most guys in your situation would
do so. I know I did, when I first began to make real money. I deal with a lot
of rich people I mean very rich and I find that most people like that spend
a lot of money because, otherwise, whats the point in being rich? Being rich
means being able to afford things that ordinary people cant afford, and thats
why there are hundred-dollar restaurant meals, thousand-dollar bottles of wine,
ten-thousand-dollar stereo systems, and hundred-thousand-dollar cars: to give
rich people the sense that they get something that other people cant have.
I
guess I just dont need that sense. Ive never had a hundred-dollar-a-bottle
wine, but I dont think I can tell the difference between a decent three-dollar
bottle and a thirty-dollar bottle, or between a five-hundred-dollar stereo and
a five-thousand-dollar one.
Good
for you, Daniel. Your father was like you in that regard.
Really?
Yes.
What I gathered about him the first time I met him, which was in Israel at
Leons funeral, was that he was self-conscious about being married to a rich
woman a movie star who made more a lot money than he did, and he wanted to
be able to contribute equally to their life together. That changed when his
book came out in English, and thats when they finally bought that house in
Blanke-something.
Blankenese.
And its not exactly a luxurious house, by Blankenese standards.
Thats
what I mean. He never developed a taste for five-star hotels and three-star
restaurants. The only thing is that Leon left him one-third of his wealth, but
it was to be held in trust until he was thirty-five, and your father resented
that. Thats why, when he made out his will, he insisted that you get your
share at eighteen.
Why
did Leon do that?
I
didnt deal with Leon directly, I wasnt in the firm yet when he made his will,
but as far as I know it was in order to encourage Miki to make it on his own.
Which he did.
Im
sure he would have anyway.
Youre
probably right. Im sure you will. Anyway, since you mentioned US when
we talked about your income, I would like to advise you to put as much of your
assets as is reasonable in American technology stock, especially information
technology, what they call IT. You know computers, hardware and software and
that kind of stuff.
How
about biotechnology? Im more interested in that, like Cetus, the company
thats developed PCR. I dont even have a computer.
Oh
yes, PCR. Well talk about that. But to bring you up to date on the financial
page, Cetus just got acquired by Chiron. Biotech is fine if you spread your
investment among several companies, because often they depend heavily on one
particular drug that may or may not get approved, and thats what happened to
Cetus. They sold their PCR patent, by the way. And it can be even worse if a
drug gets recalled after approval or if theres a lawsuit. But a biotech mutual
fund would be good. I think you already have some of that. You should check
with John Curtis at B of M. He managed the investments in your fathers
account, and hes been doing it for your mother, and now for you. And I think
you might do the same with the IT, move into a mutual fund from your Canadian
stocks, though there are some companies with a real promise. You say that you
dont have a computer yet.
I
plan to get one as soon as I get back to New York.
An
Apple or an IBM?
Probably
an IBM, since thats what Columbia favors. Ill be getting it through the
University.
I
happen to like Apple. Take a look at my screen. Greg swiveled the monitor
sitting on his desk so that Daniel could see it: there was an array of small
images with captions above them. If I need to do anything, I just click on the
right icon with the mouse. On an IBM you have to type in a command, but theres
a company named Microsoft that makes a program called Windows, which makes a PC
act more like a Macintosh. The stock that I bought a year ago has more than
doubled, and I think theres no end in sight. But, as I said, talk to John.
Now, since you mentioned PCR
You
want to talk about my idea for exhuming the bones.
Precisely.
And Id like to hear about it from you. Our families are pretty intertwined,
you know Marcia and I are friends with your mother, youre friends with
Harvey, and Betty is dating Paul so Ive heard about it second-hand.
Okay,
here it is first-hand. I think that I have reason to suspect that the body that
was sent from Israel might not have been my fathers
What
could that reason possibly be?
Well,
I understand that nobody looked at the body.
It
was already in a coffin.
Thats
my point, or one of them. They didnt expect anyone to look inside.
Whos
they?
The
Israeli authorities, the government, the military, the Mossad, whoever. They
had it in for him.
Because
of his book?
There
was more than that. Ive talked to Brigitte, but also with a woman who had been
his girlfriend in the kibbutz and became friends with him again after he left
Brigitte. There was a personal issue. They tried to frame him for a murder, in
Germany. Some day Im going to dig into it.
So?
So,
I wouldnt put it past them to send a wrong body.
Do
you think that he might be alive?
Its
not out of the question that hes in some prison.
In
Israel?
Maybe,
or maybe in Syria. Maybe he got captured in the Golan Heights. As I said, some
day Id like to delve into it.
I
think its just your imagination running away from you. And to do what you want
to do would be, in strict legal terminology, opening a can of worms. I want you
to know that I have formally advised your mother not to cooperate with you in
this matter.
A
cluster of thoughts began to form in Daniels mind, orbiting around the notion
that perhaps Greg Berman was not such a good lawyer. He messed up on my
fathers will, Daniel reminded himself.
Theres
something I dont get, he said. If no one looked inside the coffin, then my
father was declared dead on the basis of the Israeli death certificate, wasnt
he?
Well,
yes, of course.
What
if thered been no body, like the people who died in the
the Holocaust? He
forced himself to use the word that he had been avoiding ever since he had read
his fathers article, Wörter um Eichmann, in which Michael Wilner
criticized the usage. But this was no time to stickle was that an English
verb? for words. Like his parents and his sister?
Of
course, the registrar of civil status accepts official foreign documents,
unless someone contests them.
I
have no plan to contest the death certificate. But whoever shipped the coffin
was probably a different agency from the military doctor who signed the
certificate. They just might have sent the wrong body, by mistake of course.
Why is that a can of worms?
Greg
was silent for a while. Daniel, he said at last, youre a very smart young
man, and legally speaking youre probably right. But Im not sure youve
thought about what it would do to your mother if the body turned out not to be
your fathers. It would devastate her.
It
would?
You
probably dont know that your mother goes to visit your fathers grave every so
often.
No,
I had no idea.
Ive
run into her at the cemetery when Ive gone there with my mother to visit my
fathers grave. It seems to give her a kind of comfort. You see, in life she
didnt have much of a hold on him, as he was always trotting the globe and
probably had other women. This way she feels that she has him to herself.
Really!
Whatever kind of a lawyer Greg Berman was, Daniel thought, he was a pretty good
psychologist.
You
probably think of your mother as a very controlled person, Greg went on.
Daniel nodded. Well, the first time I met her, she was sitting in the same
chair where you are now. It was not the same office, but it was the same chair.
She practically had a breakdown when she heard about his death. And when I told
her about the will, she kept saying, He loved me! Il maimait! over
and over. I believe that she always had the hope that some day, in the future,
he would come back to live with her, especially after you got a little older.
You
really believe that? To me and Betty shes always said that she could never
live with a man.
I mean while your father was still alive. And
later, when she found out that she was pregnant with Betty, she kind of closed
in on herself and dedicated herself to her kids and her profession. Not that
she became like a nun, Greg chuckled, but she never got serious with another
man.
Daniel
shrugged. I dont really know much about her private life. He chose not to
bring up the memory of his mother with George Kenner in the Magdalen Islands,
four summers before.
You
wouldve known if there had been anyone really serious, believe me. And there
was plenty of interest: a young, smart, beautiful widow with money
With
two kids!
Two
great kids. Greg smiled broadly. Listen, Daniel, its clear that you
could see right through the legal smokescreen that I threw up in order to
protect your mother. I think youll make a great investigative reporter, if
thats what you want to be.
Yes,
I do, and what I really want to investigate, once I have my journalism degree,
is what actually happened to my father.
That
will be in
three years?
Yes.
And as far as I know it will take that long before DNA analysis with PCR will
be available outside of England, so theres no urgency to any of this.
It
may be sooner than that. But anyway, were about to get a new civil code in
Quebec, and the legal situation will be clearer than it is now. But whatever
you do, Daniel, keep your mothers feelings in mind. You owe her that.
Of
course, Greg. I love her.
As
he walked out of the office building into the August sunlight, Daniel felt a
gnawing sensation in his belly. As friendly as the conversation with Greg
Berman had been, something was left unsettled. He realized that once he was
ready to press for the exhumation he would need to get his own lawyer,
unaffiliated with Gregs firm. But the gnawing sensation continued, and he now
realized that he was hungry. It was just past noon, and he joined the busy
crowd of sandwich buyers at a sidewalk stand. Once he got his sandwich and
lemonade he walked to Lafontaine Park, had his lunch there, and slowly walked
to the Sherbrooke metro station in order to take a train that would get him to
Megans around two oclock.
During
the remaining week and a half that he spent in Montreal, Daniel managed to get
together with Megan Kenner four times and in so doing to forget about Amy
Kenner. But with each encounter he found himself missing Cici. Whatever he did
with Megan and there was a lot, for the now nineteen-year-old Megan had
developed an adventuresome sexual appetite he would not call it making love,
even less so than the one-night stands of his Mexican tour.
He
also managed after calling more than half a dozen law offices in which, when
he mentioned DNA analysis, no one knew what he was talking about to find a
lawyer named William Prosper who not only knew about it but was interested in
taking Daniels case, though it was not a criminal case and he was a criminal
lawyer. When Daniel said, Thank you, Mister Prosper, the lawyer said, with
what sounded like a North of England accent, Call me Will. Daniel wondered if
Will Prosper used his name in advertising: With Will Prosper, your case will
prosper. But Canadian lawyers were not allowed to advertise.
The
next day Daniel got together with Harvey Berman. They talked of many things,
but Daniel did not mention Will Prosper. Nor did he mention him to other
friends that he saw subsequently: Alex Crawford, Roxane Vanier and Megan
Kenner. And of course not to his mother or sister
By
mid-August it was time to return to New York. Before leaving he tried to phone
Cici, and received the same bilingual vacation message as the preceding year,
once again with no opportunity for leaving a message of his own. No matter. The
second half of August was about to begin; he would keep trying to call her
every day.
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