29
6 April 92
Daniel
called me when he came back from Spain, a couple of weeks ago, and let me know
that Vicky wasnt really Mauricios girlfriend. They were just having a fling,
he said, and now he and Vicky are truly in love. He called again this afternoon
and told me that they have been exchanging love letters, that he plans to spend
the summer in Spain with her, and that she is thinking of coming to the US for
graduate school. Wow!
I asked him,
what about your two girlfriends? He said that he would tell them about Vicky,
and they could take him or leave him.
I cant help
comparing his situation with mine when I met Miki. (The names even rhyme, Miki
and Vicky!) Of course I told Jean-Marc about it immediately. In person, because
his phone was out of order. He was devastated, far more than I had expected. I
felt sorry for him.
But speaking
of telling about: lately I have, finally, been telling more and more of my
friends about Bob. Last month Mark & Julie and then Françoise. And
yesterday Jodi and Ryan.
Jodi Marsh and
Ryan Blitz are old friends of mine. They met a few months ago, independently of
me, and have been dating since. Jodi told me about it when I saw her in
February. (She had agreed with me at a previous meeting that vanitous
would be a useful word to have in English, and this time she used it humorously
to describe Ryan. Hes a little, how would you say, vanitous! she said.) She
is a jeweller who owns her own shop. When she was a student at the Visual Arts
Centre she was a frequent babysitter for B&D. They liked her, especially
Betty, because she taught them to make pretty things out of simple materials
like paper, toothpicks and paper clips.
Ryan is an
anaesthesiologist whom I have known since residency. When he was a kid in
Manitoba he suffered from his surname (e.g. Blitz has zits) so he adopted Blitz
likes tits, Ryan aint lyin as his motto. He has even used it as a pickup
line. (Not on me he used something else that I dont remember, its been a
long time, and anyway at the time I was already seeing Sam.) He probably used
it on Jodi, who has nice tits but not much else. Or I should say had,
because since meeting Ryan she has abandoned the sloppy artist look. She
has lost some weight, acquired a new wardrobe, and turned into a quite
attractive woman. Good for her!
They met when
he came into her shop, accompanying another woman that he was dating. Somehow
it came out that they were friends of mine. (I may have told her about him at
some time.) I never would have thought of introducing them I am not much of a
matchmaker but one never knows.
So, yes, I
told them about Bob. They were surprised that it has been going on for so long,
almost two years. But not shocked; they know that I am a private person. In the
same way that I keep my friends private and dont hold parties for them to mix,
unlike Tina (for example). But especially since I did not want to expose my
private life to my children before they were old enough to understand. And now
that they are old enough I am still in the privacy habit. I have been trying to
get out of it, ever since the summer with GK. Mon Dieu, ça fait cinq ans! Its
been 5 years!
Why?
I realize
that, after all that time, it was no big deal to tell them about Bob. It wasnt
even necessary, since they already knew. It was also no big deal with GK.
Before that they were definitely too young. What about telling them
retrospectively, when the occasion arises, abut the men before GK? Should I
tell D about Sam and me? But then he has never actually met Sam.
What about the
men before Miki? The adolescent experience that I mentioned to D doesnt
matter. But later?
What about Jean-Marc? Do I dare tell them about
Jean-Marc? Not yet, my journal. If ever. Good night, my journal.
Jewish Agency
He was
five minutes early, and Karen Litov was right on time. Nice place, she said
when she approached his table. The day was overcast, chilly and breezy, but she
was dressed for spring: a short-sleeved white blouse over a navy-blue skirt and
high-heeled shoes; a jacket matching the skirt was draped over one arm. She
seemed to have gained some weight since the last time and her clothes seemed
tight on her, but that may have been her intention. Daniel wondered if she had
dressed up for the date with him. If so, then the prospect of a friendship
seemed promising.
Thank you for the
information you sent me, he began, especially the French program. I guess you
remembered that Im French Canadian.
Youre welcome, she
said as she sat down, crossing her legs and smoothing her skirt. Its my job.
He needed an opening for
getting a little personal with her, but none came to him.
I like it that there
are visits to archaeological sites and even Christian monuments, he said,
besides the usual Jewish stuff. The American programs didnt seem to have
those.
In America those things
are supposed to be interesting for older people, like me, not for kids like
you. She laughed. But you are different, she added, looking at him slyly.
Was she coming on to him?
You think so? he said,
not knowing what else to say.
Believe me, she said,
I deal all the time with kids in your age. Mostly they are like your
girlfriend Audrey.
I told you the last
time, Daniel said with a forced smile, trying not to sound petulant, shes
not really my girlfriend.
Well, she thinks that
you are her boyfriend. She says that you are very good! Karen laughed again.
She seemed to be playing with him. Things were moving faster than he was
prepared for, and he was grateful for the intervention of the waitress who came
by to take their orders. They both ordered the same soup-and-half-sandwich
special, his with lemonade and hers with Coca-Cola.
Anyway, Daniel said,
Id like to sign up for the French program. Ill take care of the round trip
to Paris on my own.
If you would like, I
can call them to ask if they have room. Its a very small program.
That would be very nice
of you.
I will call this
afternoon. I have a friend who works in the Jewish Agency in Paris, and I will
call him at home when its evening there. A fellow secret agent, Daniel said
to himself. He will call the French organization tomorrow when its morning
there, Karen went on. The waitress brought them their soup it was
beef-noodle and beverages. And then he will call me back in the afternoon
when its morning here. Finally I will call you! She laughed before taking a
spoonful of her soup. Mm, this is very good! she said with exactly the same
intonation as when she reported Audreys characterization of him. I love beef
soup, she added after another spoonful, with another sly look at him.
Yes, he thought as he
sipped his soup silently, she was definitely coming on to him. The reference to
loving beef soup might easily be a sexual one. Daniel was not exactly what in
American parlance might be called beefy, but he was muscular enough.
I like the noodles, he
said, returning her look, nice and wet with the broth. He intentionally
slurped a long one down and ostentatiously licked his lips afterward. If shes
going to get raunchy then so can I, he said to himself.
The sandwiches, both
corned beef (his on rye, hers on an onion roll), came before they were done
with the soup. My beef between her buns, he said to himself. At that moment,
like a small cloud covering the sun in an otherwise blue sky one that can be
either welcome or unwelcome, depending on the heat of the day the image of
Vicky entered his mind. But this isnt a matter of lust, he told himself. It
was a project of sexual counterespionage. For thousands of years, from Delilah
to Mata Hari and Christine Keeler, women have been enticing men to reveal
secrets in bed. Why couldnt a guy turn the tables?
But
it was time to change the subject, and he was grateful to Karen for asking him
what he thought of the presidential primary election that was going on that
very day. I know that you are a foreigner, like me, she added.
Well,
Daniel said, of the three American friends that I last talked to, one is a
Republican, one is for Clinton thats Audrey, by the way and one is for
Brown, and shes from California.
Is
she Jewish by chance?
No,
shes Chinese American.
I
am sure the Jews will vote for Clinton, sixty, seventy percent. Once Brown said
that he would choose Jesse Jackson for Vice President, that was the end for him
with the Jews, and Im not so sure it will help him a lot with the blacks. The
blacks like Clinton.
What
about Tsongas? Daniel asked with no specific intent. Karen smiled.
Do
you know anyone who is voting for Tsongas?
Not
personally, but some of the people in my classes said they might.
It
doesnt matter. The Jews will elect Clinton as the Democratic candidate, and if
he wins the election then he will remember that. As we say, its good for the
Jews. She smiled again. By the way, she said after taking the last bite of
her sandwich, back in February there was also a primary election in Israel, in
the Labor Party.
I
remember something about that. Rabin won, didnt he?
Yes.
The general election will be on the twenty-sixth of June. The American student
groups will be there already, but you will miss it, because the French group
isnt going till July, when the French universities finish.
Did you vote in the primary? I mean
are you
in the Labor Party?
I
cannot talk about my politics. The Jewish Agency is nonpolitical! Karen said
with a loud laugh. Anyway not in my time of working. By the way, she added
after glancing at her watch, its time for me to go back to the office.
You
dont have time for some coffee? he asked.
No,
she said. But when we see each other privately its different. Then we can
talk about anything! She laughed again and stood up.
When
we see each other privately. Was that a conditional when meaning if
we happen to see each other privately or a future when implying well
see each other privately and then
? Daniel decided to assume that it was the
latter meaning.
Im
looking forward to that! he said as he also stood up to shake her hand. Im
going to have some coffee before I go. Thank you for your help!
Thank
you for lunch! Karen said, slinking out of the coffee shop. I will call you
tomorrow morning.
That
evening he decided to call both Audrey and Claire to tell them about Vicky.
Audrey first, he thought.
She answered in a cheery
tone. Oh, hi, Daniel. Looks like Clintons winning!
I guess youre happy
about that.
Yeah! Whats up?
Theres something Ive
been meaning to tell you since I got back from Spain.
And that is
I met someone there.
Your second cousin, right?
Once removed, yes. In
Spanish he would be called my third uncle. He heard Audrey laugh nervously.
But theres someone else. A girl, to be specific. And Im in love with her.
And youre telling me
now? After youve been fucking me for weeks? Fuck you, Daniel!
Well, I wasnt really
sure until I got her
You got her pregnant? I
dont care what you got, even the clap, as long as you didnt give it to me!
Im going to get myself checked first thing in the morning! And dont ever call
me again!
He expected her to slam
down the phone, but the line was still live. For what its worth, I used
condoms with her.
Thanks for the
information. But why should I trust you? Youre a goy, as far as Im
concerned.
Im going to Israel
this summer
Have a great time! she
snorted. The line went dead.
He needed to relax
before calling Claire. He did not want to dwell on the conversation he had just
had with Audrey. He turned on the stereo and let the Serrat cassette play where
it had last stopped, after Señora. The flamenco-flavored strains of La
Saeta filled his apartment and his heart. He looked at the picture of
himself with Vicky for the entire two minutes of the song.
He listened to Qué va
a ser de ti and then stopped the music. He was ready to call Claire.
She, too, answered the
phone with a cheery Hi, Daniel!
I hear that Clintons
winning, Daniel began.
Thats okay, Claire
said. Clintons cool too. I think my moms more likely to be upset. Back in
California it was the women in her age group that had a crush on Jerry Brown.
Back in New York, Claire had stopped peppering her speech with like and you
know. One of her friends, a classmate of hers from UCLA, actually slept
with him! And she was married! Claire giggled. Of course that was the seventies.
But youre not calling me to chat about Jerry Brown, are you?
No.
So whats the problem?
Why do you assume its
a problem?
I dont know, I just
do. Prove me wrong.
Actually, this time
there is a problem. But its got nothing to do with computers.
I know. Youve got
another woman. Wow! he thought. So shes known all along about Audrey! Either
she saw them together or heard from someone who did.
Well, yes, but shes in
Spain. I met her when I was there last month.
But shes there and Im
here, right?
Right, he said without
quite knowing how to go on. But he didnt need to, since she did it for him.
Thats cool then. Then
youll go see her during summer vacation?
Well, I intend to.
Im going to be in
California.
Is there a guy there?
Maybe. She giggled
again. So, anyway, dont stop calling, okay?
Okay. Want to get
together this weekend?
Im busy Friday and
Sunday. Is Saturday okay?
Sure, he said.
By the time he left for his nine-oclock class there had
been no call from Karen Litov. He was back at eleven-twenty and found two
messages on his answering machine, both from her and both urging him to call
her as soon as possible.
Listen, Daniel, she
said, the French program is practically filled up but they can find a place
for you if you register today. The main thing is that you have to pay
them a thousand francs by noon tomorrow in France, so that means that it must
be done today. Can you send them a wire transfer?
Theres no way I can
get to the bank today. Ive got a class at one, and then more classes till
four, and then Ill have to talk to the professor. And my bank closes at four.
I have an idea, she
said after a brief pause. I will tell my friend at the Agency in Paris to pay
them the money and tell him that you paid it to me.
But I wont have time
to get it to you.
I trust you. And since
you probably wont have time to come here by five, I will go to your place to
pick it up. I can be there around five-thirty.
That is really nice of
you.
Dont worry. It will be
my pleasure. She said it as if she meant it, literally.
She made
no attempt to hide her intention when she walked through his door. When she
took off her jacket, her blouse was already half-unbuttoned to reveal a
more-than-ample expanse of bosom. She hung the jacket on the nearest chair
while he shut the door behind her and she approached him saying, Shalom,
motek.
Motek? he said,
startled. That was the name of my
my great-great-uncle!
Karen laughed. In
Hebrew its what we call someone that we like. It means sweetness.
They were standing face
to face, almost touching. Shalom, motek, he said.
After a bout of sex that
felt more like a wrestling match with Karen the winner by at least major
decision if not technical fall Daniel felt hungry and tired. He had had no
break during the day except for a hurried and skimpy lunch at home. But he
wanted a chance to have sex with Karen in the more sensual way that he liked.
He kissed her and said, Ill be right back. He went to the bathroom to
relieve and clean himself. When he came back she was almost dressed.
That will be two
hundred and fifty dollars, please, she said with a laugh. Made out to the
Jewish Agency.
Should I write Jewish
Agency Escort Service? he asked as he put on a pair of shorts and got his
checkbook from his desk.
No, Karen said, we
must be discreet about it. And next time it will be free. She stepped into her
shoes and stood up.
You made me an offer I
cant refuse, he said in Brando-like tone while handing her the check, which
she put into her purse.
I told you that it will
be my pleasure, she said, giving him a quick kiss. Meanwhile, fill out the
registration form. Can you bring it to my office tomorrow morning so I can fax
it to Paris? Yes, of course, he said. She put on her jacket and walked to
the door without waiting for him to accompany her. Shalom, motek, she
said again as she walked out.
He started the Serrat
tape again while he made himself some gnocchi. There were five songs left,
beginning with the piano tinkle introducing the sad Piel de manzana.
When Tío Alberto came on, some fifteen minutes later, he was already
finishing his dish, thinking back to the paella, the Barcelona-Kiev game and
Vicky at Uncle Albertos apartment in Valencia.
Immediately he wrote
Vicky a letter telling her the deep effect that the Serrat album had on him and
detailing one by one his reaction to each one of the sixteen songs. He also
asked her if Tío Alberto was about some actual person, as it seemed to
be. In a postscript he wrote her his phone number.
He would be spending a
whole month with her, assuming that Karen Litov was successful in securing a
place for him in the French Israel program. His summer vacation was set: the
second half of May would be in Montreal; June (and the beginning of July) would
be half in Barcelona (during the final-exam period) and half in Sitges, with
side trips to other places in Spain, he hoped. Most of July and August, seven
weeks all told, would be in Israel
Montreal! Would that
mean getting together with Megan? Or would she be off in Toronto, doing her
research in pornoeconomics?
And then he realized
that in his feverish planning he had forgotten Bettys birthday. Not just any
birthday. Her eighteenth, when she would, as he had before her, become a
teenage millionaire. Of course he would have to extend his Montreal stay into
June, and spend only a week in Barcelona with Vicky. It would not be a whole
month then, only three and a half weeks. But anyway she would have been busy
studying for her exams, he told himself.
He thought about Karen
Litov again. It seemed obvious that if sleeping with her were to yield results,
it would have to involve some sleeping. Between stretches of sleep he would
give her some pleasures that she might not have experienced before, and in such
a state get her to talk.
But it
seemed that however the relationship between them could be defined, she was
the one in control. Maybe thats how secret agents operate: get your
sex where you can, à la James Bond. Despite her less-than-average
looks, she seemed to know her way around men. She certainly knew how to
flirt, implicitly and explicitly. And Daniel now realized that his
coyness about being Audrey Seligmans boyfriend was unwarranted.
On the contrary, for someone like Karen Litov, snatching the
good-looking young boyfriend of a much younger and much
prettier girl was undoubtedly a matter of pride.
Two days later Karen
Litov called Daniel to tell him that he had been accepted. He had until the end
of April to pay the rest of the fee, three thousand francs. Thats a bargain,
no? she said. A thousand dollars for two months in Israel, including the
transport from Paris! Daniel agreed that it was a bargain. He wondered if she
would suggest another get-together, but she seemed to be all business.
Exactly a week later
it happened to be Good Friday she called again. She had all the information
for him, and once again it would be her pleasure to bring it over to his place,
at five-thirty.
Just after five his
phone rang. From the first syllable of Hello, Daniel! he knew that it was
Vicky. He felt himself trembling.
Hi, he said. Are you
calling from the free phone booth?
Its no longer free,
she said with a laugh. They fixed it, like theyre fixing everything for the
Olympics. Im calling from Sitges. Its cheaper after eleven.
But Daniel remembered
that, even at their cheapest, international calling rates in Spain were
astronomical. Give me your number and Ill call you right back.
She picked up before the
first ring ended. Hello, Daniel! she said again. The connection was better
this time.
Its good to hear your
voice. How are you?
Beginning my Easter
break. Its also the beginning of tourist season, and Im going to be
frightfully busy next week.
Tell me about Tío
Alberto.
Vicky laughed. You mean
my uncle Alberto, or Serrats?
You already told me
about yours. Alberto Vidal was Marisols younger brother, a lawyer in Valencia
who had never married but had a girlfriend in Madrid. I mean Serrats.
Well, he was actually
called Alberto Puig Palau. He was a bit of a toff, a very rich fellow, a
playboy, gave lots of parties, had lots of affairs and supported lots of
artists, including Serrat, but especially flamencos. He was friends with a lot
of Gypsies, and they gave him the nickname Tío Alberto. He died a few years
ago.
And the French Legion
of Honor business?
Oh yes. He worked for
the French resistance, even though in the Civil War he fought on Francos
side.
Thats interesting.
Anyway, Id love to spend the month of June with you. He proceeded to tell her
about his summer plans.
Thatll be wonderful!
Then you can be in Sitges for the Corpus Christi its spectacular here, with
the streets all carpeted with flowers! And then when its time for you to go to
Paris, perhaps I can come with you for a few days.
That would be
fantastic, Daniel said, suddenly realizing that Karen Litov would be coming in
ten minutes. Ill call you again. I love you!
I love you too. Good
night!
After hanging up he was
in a feverish tizzy. His mind was filled with thoughts of the woman he loved
while preparing to have sex with another woman. What kind of a man was he?
An all-too-human man, he
told himself. Menschlich, allzumenschlich. That paper on Nietzsche, on the
relation between his poetry and his philosophy Die Beziehung zwischen
Nietzsches Dichtung und seiner Philosophie would need some more work
after Karen left.
But this time Karen was
in less of a hurry to leave. He made a simple dinner an omelet, salad and
refried baked potatoes for both of them. Afterward she gave strong hints of
wanting to go back to bed. Daniel, however, felt spent (he was expecting Claire
the next afternoon), and made Karen aware of it. After she left he could not
get himself into a studious mood.
The next day he found to
his surprise the biting dissonances of Elektra formed a well-suited
background to an analysis of Nietzsche. Aside from the obvious connection
between Nietzsche and Strauss through Also sprach Zarathustra, there was
also the acknowledged fact of Nietzsches influence on Hugo von Hofmannsthal.
The connections managed to find their way into the paper.
The phone rang twice in
the course the opera. He did not pick up either time. The first time he heard
Cicis voice it had been some time since he had talked with her and the
second time it was Claires.
After the applause he
listened to the messages. Cicis was an invitation to the psychology
departments graduation; she would be leaving for Florida, for good, soon
after. Claire told the answering machine that her period had just started. Do
you still want me to come over? she asked with her usual giggle.
He called Claire back to
tell her that he would love to have her over he would certainly appreciate
her help with booking his summer travel. She was happy to comply, and with her
help she showed him how to use the multicity function he built his
itinerary: New YorkMontrealBarcelona outbound and ParisMontrealNew York
inbound. The BarcelonaParis leg would be by train with Vicky. On the return
trip he would leave Paris the day after returning from Israel and have the
weekend before Labour Day in Montreal.
He enjoyed hanging out
with Claire. He envisioned having her as a postsexual friend a term that Cici
seemed to have invented to describe their relationship like Cici, Roxane and
probably also Megan, once he stopped sleeping with anyone but Vicky.
He called Cici to tell
her that he would love to see her graduate.
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