24
19 Nov.
91
Daniel
just called to say that he will not be coming here during American Thanksgiving
after all, after saying three days ago that he might do so. He will be spending
it with Rogers family.
He has already
explained to me the mix-up with Amy. It was very silly: she had written him
about the weekend of 2-3 November and he misread it as 23. The cusp merged
with the hyphen, he said, making it sound lascivious. Oh, those cusp-hyphen
mergers! He didnt sound the least bit upset about it, he even seemed relieved.
This time I
asked him, as light-heartedly as I could, what was really going on between him
and Amy. For some reason he answered me in French (I dont quite understand the
language games he is playing with me), saying that he had lost interest in her.
Jai perdu lintérêt pour elle, he said. It was not incorrect French but
something a francophone would say about a hobby, not about a person. Tu nes plus
intéressé à elle? I prompted him. He laughed and changed back to English after
saying touché, maman.
But perhaps he
really regarded the defloration of Amy more as a project than as a
relationship, and the wording was appropriate. It is like what M. Daigle
implied to me, but differently: by insisting that I call him M. Daigle and
speak to him with vous, even after we had done it. And he too might have lost
interest if I had not been so persistent.
But lets be
frank, my journal. Mireille Bouchard was a sexy young thing. Amy Kenner is not.
Pretty, yes, in a different sort of way. But sexy, definitely not.
But who am I
to pronounce mys on whether a woman is or is not sexy to a man? Being a
sexy woman (I dont need to be modest with you, my journal) does not make me an
authority.
A few years
ago Daniel pointed out to me the nurse that he had been seeing after his first
experience in New York. I think her name was Aggie no, Angie. I remember
thinking of her as not the least bit sexy, but D told me that the sex had been
great, and this after he had slept with several other girls. Well, my journal,
if Daniel was attracted to Amy then she was a lucky girl, and if it didnt work
out for them, tant pis pour elle. Too bad for her.
I am sure that
there is no shortage of girls at Columbia for D to choose from. Or in New York
more generally. Thats what Sam used to tell me. What he liked especially was
the variety: Jewish, Black, Puerto Rican (I think he included all Hispanics in
that category), Oriental (that is how he called East Asians till l told him
that in French oriental is Middle Eastern), and the ones that he called
WASP. He explained to me that it originally meant White Anglo-Saxon Protestant,
but in his language it meant anyone who was white and not Jewish. That included
me, though I am of course neither Anglo-Saxon nor Protestant. But that was a
short time after he arrived in Montréal. He quickly learned that we French
Canadians are different and we have nothing to do with WASPs. And Sam came to
appreciate the ethnic diversity of Montréal.
But of course
it is nothing like that of New York. I am sure that Daniel enjoys it. I have
heard about the Jewish Audrey and the WASP Karen and the Puerto Rican Cici.
There must be plenty of others.
Peace Now
Amid the buzz of the conversation, the hum of the fan and
the hiss of the espresso machine, Daniel was at his usual coffeehouse table,
skimming a biography of Franklin Delano Roosevelt for his course in
twentieth-century American history. Between sips of his cappuccino he took
notes on a yellow pad. A folded copy of the Spectator served both as a
bookmark and as a book protector against coffee spills.
Daniel
Wilner! He suddenly heard a female voice with a familiar New York accent call
out his name. He turned around.
Audrey
Seligman! She was standing in front of him, wearing the same mauve raincoat as
on that day, two years before, when he ran into her on Broadway. The memory of
her languid disrobing made him realize that he had unconsciously been using her
as the standard by which he judged Claire Chens lack of skill in doing so, and
he felt a stirring of desire. I havent seen you in ages!
She
sat down at his table. Well, she said, I was gone all of last school year. I
was in Israel, at the Hebrew University.
How
was it?
Fabulous!
Im minoring in Hebrew, so I figured I might as well get a head start.
Daniel
didnt know what Audreys major was, but chose not to ask. Did you? he asked
instead.
You
bet. But most of all I got to understand the situation there, and how important
it is to support Israel. How you cant have peace with the Arabs until they all
recognize Israels right to exist and stop supporting terrorism. And the only
way theyll do that is if Israel remains strong so that theyll know they cant
possibly win. Ever, she concluded emphatically. At last she smiled as if to
apologize for her flight of rhetoric.
What
about the Madrid Conference?
Thats
just what I mean. Its empty talk, and we, I mean we Jews, she interjected
with a laugh, cant let down our guard. Theres going to be a talk about it
tonight by someone from Peace Now theyre the ones who think that you
can negotiate peace with the Arabs and Im with a group thats going to give
out information outside the lecture hall. In fact, were having a meeting right
now, and Ive got to go. But call me some time! She wrote her number in the
margin of his yellow pad before scooting away. He noticed that she wore jeans
over high-heeled boots.
He
opened his book again, but, unable to concentrate, idly scanned the newspaper
instead. On page 4 he found a notice about the talk, titled Madrid and the
Israeli Peace Movement, to be given by a leader of Peace Now named
Arik Shaked. It might be interesting, he thought. And it might be intriguing to
see Audrey as a political agitator.
But
he could not rid his mind of memories of Audrey undressing. Of all the women he
had known, none had done it as seductively as Audrey, not only the first time
but on later occasions as well.
He
then thought of Cici, whose disrobing was casual and effortless but was sensual
because all her movements were sensual. Megan, on the other hand, liked him to
undress her
Whats
wrong with me? he suddenly said to himself. Comparing girls by the way they
undress? Im pathetic! Not literally, he corrected himself, because pathetic
comes from pathos, which means passion, and passion was precisely what he
lacked, at least where sex was concerned. He didnt feel himself as lacking in
passion for learning, for music, or for the grand enterprise of his young life
the search for his father.
Comparing
girls by the way they undress? Like an old lecher writing his memoirs? But the
Don Juans and the Casanovas of the world, when they wrote their memoirs,
boasted of their conquests, of seductions carried out in the face of great
obstacles, be they jealous husbands, imperious fathers or solemn vows of
chastity.
For
Daniel Wilner sex had been easy, ever since, with Gen McGraths initiation, he
had learned to sense a womans willingness. He was now twenty years old; he had
been practicing effortless recreational sex or rec sex, as his soccer
buddies from Western Canada liked to call it for somewhat over three years.
And thats what it was, even with Cici, though she liked to call it making
love.
Love!
What is love? Whatever it might be, Daniel knew that he had not yet been in
love. And yet seventeen to twenty the time of his life as a so-called lover
were prime years for falling in love. Betty, at seventeen, was in love with Paul
Berman, and may have previously been in love with Gérard Labouisse. Mireille
Bouchard, at twenty-one, fell in love with Miki Wilner, and Daniel was the
result. Miki and Brigitte were adolescent lovers at fifteen, but at seventeen
after Mikis time of rec sex at the kibbutz they became true lovers.
Whats
wrong with me? Daniel asked himself again. Wheres my love gene?
It was chilly and raining lightly when he approached
Philosophy Hall. The group giving out information turned out to be four
students with picket signs. One of them was Audrey, her sign reading PEACE NOW
/ NEVER WITH TERRORISTS! Another was handing fliers to people entering the
building, mumbling something as she was doing so. Audrey was looking away, and
Daniel felt relieved. He slithered inside without picking up a flier.
The
hall was almost packed. At five past eight a young man came to the lectern,
picked up the microphone, and said casually, as if talking to a group of
friends, Hi, Im Larry, the chairman of Columbia Shalom Akhshav. I have
bad news and good news. The bad news is that Arik Shaked, for reasons not quite
clear, could not leave Israel. The good news is that his wife, Doctor Ruth
Shaked, happened to be attending a conference at Yale, and graciously agreed to
come and speak in his place. She will introduce herself. Thanks for your
understanding, and Shalom.
A
short, slightly plump woman with graying black hair and sharp features,
softened somewhat by her large black-rimmed glasses, approached the lectern and
took the microphone from Larry.. Her skin was dark and marked by the hot dry
air that Nili had mentioned. Her age was hard to determine: it could be
anywhere between forty-five and sixty-five. Thank you, Larry, she said before
clearing her throat.
First
I will tell you a little about my background, she began in an accent that
betrayed some time spent in England, and second how I came to be active in
Peace Now. Then I will talk about the Madrid Conference.
I
come from a kibbutz. My family were among the founders of the kibbutz. They
were active in the Palmakh before independence and later they became
very involved in the Israel Defense Forces. My uncle was a paratroop commander.
My father was an artillery officer and then he was one of the founders of the
Mossad. My brother was a high-ranking agent in the Mossad.
I
was a loyal member of the kibbutz, loyal to all the ideals that it stood for,
including the security of the State of Israel. And the kibbutz was good to me.
After my military service they paid for my university education, including
postgraduate school in England. And I came back to the kibbutz to work as a
psychologist.
But
two things happened. After the Six-Day War, when Israel was full of euphoria,
when Israelis thought that they were the kings of the world, or at least of the
Middle East, a book came out called The Long Seventh Day. The author was
called Michael Wilner. He was a German Jewish journalist. I say was, because he
died a few years later, when he was covering the Yom Kippur War.
Daniel
felt glued to his chair. Petrified. Paralyzed. He could not breathe. The woman
was talking about his father!
But
when he was a boy he lived in my kibbutz, and he was called Miki.
She
was from Refadim! She might have known him! Maybe I can talk to her
afterwards and find out!
In
the book he warned us against falling for delusions of grandeur. He predicted
another war, which came a few years later and cost him his life. He predicted
terrorist attacks, and even the Intifada, unless we Israelis made peace with
the Palestinians. In Israel he was mostly criticized, and the library of my
kibbutz refused to buy his book. But a few thinking people took him seriously,
and thats how the movement was born. I bought the book when I was in Jerusalem
for a conference, but when I brought it back to the kibbutz, I felt that I had
to hide it.
Reading
the book gave me the intellectual sense that our security was a delusion as
long we were at war with our neighbors. But then something more personal
happened about a year later: my brother was found dead, floating in the
fishpond of the kibbutz.
She
was talking about Tzvi Kaplan! So she was Ruti, who had wanted Miki to take her
virginity! And this was the memory that Amys letter had stirred in him!
We
never knew if he was murdered or committed suicide. There was an investigation,
but it was top secret, because they said that my brother was involved in a
high-level operation. And when the investigation was concluded they wouldnt
tell me the results.
A
high-level operation to frame Miki Wilner for murder! Daniel felt like
shouting.
My
brothers death had to be hushed up, for fear of compromising the operation.
Those of us who knew about it were not allowed to talk about it, because that
would jeopardize national security. We couldnt even have a funeral for him.
That was when I said to myself, enough already! Enough of secret operations!
Enough of so-called national security! Enough of war! I left the kibbutz, I
moved to Jerusalem and I joined Peace Now. It was also where I met my husband,
Arik Shaked.
He
didnt want to hear any more. He no longer cared about how Peace Now stood on
the Madrid conference. He had found, unexpectedly, another source an
unwitting one of information about his father. He now knew something that no
one else did, except perhaps some mysterious Mossad investigators who might no
longer be around. Brigitte and Nili knew that Miki Wilner had knocked Tzvi into
the fishpond, but not the outcome. Ruth Shaked knew that her brother had died,
but not how.
There
was no longer any point in talking to her. He knew more than she did, and he
didnt feel it was his place to give her this kind of information. He decided
to leave, and wended his way out of the hall as discreetly as he could. It was
easy, since some latecomers were still moving in.
Outside
the picketers were still there, Audrey among them. He made a point of not
letting her see him.
He
needed to talk to somebody about what he had just learned. But who? Certainly
not Audrey, the ultra-Zionist she would hardly welcome the news that Daniel
was the son of a critic of Israel who had moreover caused the death of a Mossad
agent.
He
would, of course, inform Brigitte and Nili about it. He wondered if Nili knew
that the Ruti of her kibbutz childhood was now the wife of a leader of Peace
Now. But informing them two of the three women in his fathers life that he
knew of wasnt the same as talking to somebody. What about the third
woman, Mireille Bouchard? This didnt seem to be an option; by now he had the
strong sense that his mother, though she had never said so, disapproved of his
delving into his fathers history. Nor did it seem to him that either Betty or
Fela, for different reasons, would be apt listeners for his tale.
No,
it had to be a friend. A New York friend, because face to face would be better
than over the telephone, and he had already decided to stay in New York over
Thanksgiving. He had been invited for the holiday dinner by Rogers parents
in their Riverdale apartment, not the Hamptons and he had accepted. Besides,
at the moment he couldnt think which of his Montreal friends he wanted to talk
to about this matter. Harvey, perhaps, but he would do it later.
Could
he talk to Roger? No, this was too personal a matter for the kind of friendship
they had, and a fortiori for his soccer pals. Ora? Now that was a
possibility, since she knew about his quest, but she was not in New York and it
would take some effort to find out where she was. How about Cici? Of course. It
was she who had instilled in him the idea of a quest, and they were still
friends.
He
was at Amsterdam and Ninety-Ninth, about halfway home, when he got out of his
thoughts and into the world around him. It was no longer raining in fact, it
hadnt been raining at all since he left Philosophy Hall. Still, not many
people were out walking.
He
would call Cici as soon as he got home. And he might as well call Audrey as
well not to talk, but to make a date that would end in bed. If she wasnt
home yet, he would leave a message.
Thats fantastic, Cici said when he gave her a summary
of what he had learned. Its
its like a movie! Id love to talk to you about
it. We could get together tomorrow, or we could wait a few days till my
periods over.
Lets
wait, Daniel responded without thinking. He immediately regretted it: he
didnt want a friendly confidential talk complicated by sex. But it was too
late. Or was it? No, he said, on second thought Id rather not wait.
Tomorrow would be great.
Okay,
Cici said, I can come over any time after three.
Ill
be waiting for you.
Next
he dialed the number that Audrey had written on his pad. While he heard the
ringing it occurred to him that with Audrey he wanted the opposite of his wish
with Cici: sex uncomplicated by too much talk.
Audreys
phone kept ringing, but there was neither a live nor a recorded answer. He
decided to try again later that evening. But he got busy studying, and by the
time he remembered it was almost midnight.
He had never before told Cici the full story, or what he
knew of it, of his father, the false Ora, Axel Hemme and Tzvi Kaplan. When he
did so that Friday afternoon, completing it with his discovery of Tzvis death,
Cici seemed overwhelmed. Thats some story! she exclaimed. It could be a
movie! But before long she began to analyze it. Tell me again, she said.
Did this Ruth lady say that the investigation was completed?
I
think so
yes, she did, definitely.
So
you think maybe they traced it back to your dad, and then they set a trap for
him when he went back to Israel?
Daniel
was momentarily breathless. Of course thats possible! he said. They must
have realized that they couldnt get him in Europe
Wow, Cici, youre
brilliant!
I
know, she said, and laughed. So now you have another pending assignment. You
have to track down this mysterious Ora woman.
Mysterious
Ora! The very words he had used when asking Brigitte to confirm the
identity of the bosomy girl in the photograph. When he would write to Brigitte
about his new knowledge, he would ask her for a copy of the photograph.
Meanwhile, he stared at Cici wide-eyed.
What
I mean is, Cici explained, if she was working for Tzvi and was on your
fathers case before Tzvis death, theres all the more reason that she would
have stayed on the case. I think shes the key to the mystery. Im not saying
its going to be easy, it may take years and years, but youve got yourself
another search. Like you French people say, cherchez la femme, she
concluded with a laugh.
Daniel
laughed too. So Ill go to Israel and show people the photograph and ask them
if they know a woman named Ora who looked like this in nineteen-seventy?
Cici
laughed again. Something like that, maybe, but I have a feeling that other
clues will turn up. Anyway, Danielito, Ive got to go home and study.
She stood up. Only two weeks to my GRE! She gave him a friendly but extended
kiss before taking her leave.
Daniel,
too, needed to get back to his studies, or, more specifically, to his PC, in
whose company he expected to spend the rest of his afternoon and evening. He
had managed to contact Audrey in the morning her answering machine was on the
blink, she said and made a date with her for the following evening, a
standard date of dinner, a movie and probably sex.
Audrey!
He
had recently read in The New Yorker that many of the opposition movements that
had led to the downfall of the Communist regimes in Europe had been funded, if
not actually organized, by the CIA. Might not the group that Audrey belonged to
be similarly sponsored by the Mossad? If so, then by joining her group he might
look for a backdoor entrance into that formidable agency.
They met at the same pizzeria where they had their last
date before the friendly breakup two years earlier. The weather was chilly but
dry, and Audrey was wearing a camelhair overcoat rather than a raincoat.
I
went to that talk Thursday night, he began. Audrey stopped short in the midst
of removing her overcoat, showing a black top with a neckline that was more
revealing than anything Daniel remembered on her, though the change might not
be specific to Audrey: he had noticed it in Megan a few months earlier, and he
found cleavage bursting out all over New York when he got back. He thought that
it might be due to the influence of Madonna, especially after the release of Truth
or Dare.
You
did? I didnt see you!
You
were busy talking.
My
downfall! she said with a laugh. Me and my big mouth! Her mouth was actually
quite small, though accentuated by dark lipstick. So what did you think? she
asked as she finally took off her coat and sat down.
I
didnt stay very long. You see, the speaker started out by mentioning my
father
He
did? Your father? Audrey suddenly realized that her voice had risen by several
decibels and looked around her to see the effect. There seemed to be none.
She
did.
What?
It wasnt Arik Shaked?
No,
he couldnt make it, and his wife spoke in his place. Somehow it did not
surprise Daniel that Audrey had not found out about the substitution. And it
turned out that she knew my father.
What?
You
see, I never told you much about my father, because I didnt think at the time
that it would interest you, but he was a journalist and after the Six-Day War
he wrote a book called The Long Seventh Day. Did you ever hear about it?
His name was Michael Wilner.
No.
Anyway,
Ruth Shaked not only had read about the book, but she was from the same kibbutz
where my father lived for a while.
Your
father lived on a kibbutz?
Yes,
as a teenager. It was time to begin lying. I didnt think very much about my
father I never knew him, after all but somehow hearing about him like that
brought out the Jewish side of me and made me want to do something for Israel.
Audrey
reached across the table and put her hands on his, stroking them lightly. Her
touch was warm and gentle, and he felt a surge of desire, for a split-second
imagining himself crawling under the table and under her skirt, tough of course
her tights would be in the way. He thought that, at an appropriate moment, he
might suggest skipping the movie. She kept holding his hands as the waitress
came by to get their orders. They ordered a large Caesar salad and a pizza
with everything to share. To drink they ordered tea, his hot and hers iced.
I
wonder if I could join your organization, he added.
Well,
its not really an organization, just a group of kids about ten of us who
had all spent a year studying in Israel. We were contacted by a woman named
Keren thats not Karen but Keren from the Jewish Agency to see if we wanted
to help correct misinformation about Israel.
The
effect of Audreys pronunciation, with her New York accent, of the two versions
of the name was comical, but Daniel was not inclined to laugh. From what he
knew of Israeli accents, Karen would probably sound like Keren, and in his own
Canadian English the two words would probably also sound the same, like Mary,
marry and merry, so that he would think of the woman as Karen. It
was, after all, a matter of different transcriptions of the same Hebrew name,
like Nili Rosen and Ora Rozen.
He
had heard about the Jewish Agency, or Sokhnut as people often called it,
from Fela and her friends. Well, he thought, if the CIA had used embassies,
consulates and the US Information Agency as cover, why couldnt the Jewish
Agency serve as a cover for the Mossad?
So
is that a requirement, that youve spent a year in Israel?
Not
a requirement, no its not like were an organization with
by-laws and all that.
Could
I join you informally, as your boyfriend?
Audrey
quickly released Daniels hands. What? Arent you jumping the gun a little?
Im
speaking hypothetically.
Well,
hypothetically, I dont see why not. She smiled and took his hands again. This
time, though, instead of lust he felt hunger. Just at that moment the waitress
brought the salad, garlic bread and teas, and the handholding was interrupted
again. Ill ask Keren if you could come to our next meeting, Audrey said as
she took a bite of garlic bread.
No,
Daniel said, Id rather ask her myself, if you could give me her phone number.
I was kidding about the boyfriend thing.
I
know.
Daniel wrote to Brigitte on Monday, but he didnt get
around to calling Karen Litov until Tuesday afternoon. He got her answering
machine and left a message giving only his name and phone number, and the
desire to speak with her.
She
did not call back either that day or the following one. He would not hear back
from her until after Thanksgiving, Daniel concluded.
Later
that afternoon Audrey called him. She was at her parents house in Westchester
for Thanksgiving holiday, and wondered if Daniel was free to join them for
Thanksgiving dinner. He could stay the night, of course. Daniel regretfully
replied that he already had a Thanksgiving engagement. His regret was genuine,
because Audreys tone clearly implied that he would spend the night with her,
and sex with Audrey on Saturday night had been very good. She seemed to have
learned a thing or two in Israel. Besides Hebrew, and understanding the
situation in the Middle East.
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